Page 5 - Parent & Carer Support Information :: Portus

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Helping your child • Recognise how hard it might be for them to talk,
and if they do not want to talk, see if they will write
If you suspect that your child is self-harming, this is you a note, email or message about how they feel.
what you can do to help: You can use this Feelings Resource
START THE CONVERSATION • Ask if they would rather speak to someone else,
and offer to help find someone. A list of contacts
• Try to have a conversation during another
activity, like a walk or drive. Don’t bring up self- and helplines can be found in this resource.
harm straight away. Ask how they’re doing and • Whatever the outcome, say that you’re always
if everything’s okay. Have this talk when things there if they want to talk to you at any time. Try not
are good between you if possible, not after an to take it personally if they won’t talk – talking is
argument difficult and they may be trying to protect you.

• Let them know you are concerned about them
right now. It helps to be open and honest and say WORK TOGETHER
a bit about why this is (they seem quieter than
usual, more anxious, have a lot going on/exams, Self-harming isn’t always something that you can
not eating etc.) resolve without additional help, but you may be able
to support your child with some of the following:
• At some point in the conversation you might • If your child can be open about their self-harm,
need to say you’ve been wondering if they’re self-
harming, and why you think that. Be tentative, encourage them to talk about the feelings and
situations that may trigger it
and ask if it’s true. Give them a chance to take the
lead. • Explore what they might do differently. Ask if
there’s anything you can do/do differently that
• Say you want to help if you can and you’re not might help
going to tell them what they’re doing is wrong
etc – you just want to understand it because you • Try to think together of ways to handle strong
care/ love them and that will not change. feelings that do not involve self-harm.
• Show that you are prepared to listen to what they • Help them think through their problems and
have to say. Having a caring, open tone of voice is identify workable solutions
very important – they will be very attuned to how
you sound. • Tell them they only need to work with what’s
happening right now
• Sometimes delaying the urge to self-harm, with
something immediate can be useful – so that
might be them coming to you and you going for a
walk togethe
• Let them know you’re always available to talk
when they need it, and that you can work this out
together
• You could also introduce them to the Combined
Minds app which contains lots of ideas and
practical suggestions on how to cope with difficult
emotions relating to self-harm.

Portus - A Safe Space - Self-harm and Suicide Prevention - Parent & Carer Support Information
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