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Self-harm and suicide risk Asking the question
Whilst self-harm is common in young people, The following steps can help you find out if your child
suicide is rare. Sometimes, self-harm is associated is thinking about suicide.
with suicidal behaviour or thoughts.
• Ask directly. Use the word suicide. Practice asking
If you are concerned that your child may be first if this helps. It may give you more confidence.
experiencing thoughts of suicide, the best way to try • Stay calm. This is important as your child may be
to find out is to ask them directly.
looking at how you react to decide how much they
We know that this can be difficult, and some should tell you.
parents would worry about talking to their child • Be clear and direct. Look them in the eye and ask,
about suicide.
‘are you thinking about suicide?’
Research tells us that talking • If you are unsure of how to start the conversation,
contact the Papyrus helpline HOPELINEUK. 0800
about suicide does not put the 068 4141
idea into their head.
• Papyrus’ specially trained advisers can talk you
through what to say and how to support your child
In fact, talking with your child about suicide creates during this conversation.
a safe space for them to be open and honest about
how they feel. It can be a big relief to tell someone, • Talking with a young person about suicide can be
and they will see you as a safe person to turn to. very difficult. If you need support following your
Feeling isolated and alone with problems can be a conversation Papyrus advisers are on hand to de-
strong factor behind suicidal feelings. brief with you and help you to process what has
been said and where to go next.
Having the conversation What if they say yes?
about suicide
If your child says that they have had, or are currently
Talking to your child about suicidal thoughts is not experiencing, suicidal thoughts the most important
easy. Having the conversation is the most important thing to do is.
thing.
• Stay calm
As a parent it can be frustrating and hard to • Acknowledge how difficult it must be for them to
understand what is happening to your child and
why they are feeling this way. Some parents feel that talk about these thoughts and feelings to you, and
that you’re so glad they told you
their child is trying to punish them or deliberately
hurt them. • Tell them you are there to listen and keep them safe
The reasons why people experience thoughts of • Tell them they are your priority and that there is
suicide are complex and differ from person to help and support available.
person. You may never fully understand them and
that is OK.
Revealing thoughts of suicide is a
difficult but incredibly brave thing for
a child or young person to do.
The Zero Suicide Alliance has some helpful online
training to help you have the conversation and there
are other good sources of help in this resource.
Parents who have lost a child to suicide, didn’t think
it would happen to them.
Portus - A Safe Space - Self-harm and Suicide Prevention - Parent & Carer Support Information
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